Logically and emotionally, it is difficult to give someone else what you don't have for yourself. To love someone, I must first understand and experience love from myself to myself. If I have no love within myself, how can I give it to the outer world? When it comes to kindness, compassion or any other values which one cherishes. Unless you have it within you, you can't give it. It's that simple.
Generosity is all about giving and if one is not Generous with oneself then there is an endless struggle to be generous. It becomes more of a tick mark for the act of being generous, just because someone told you it is good to be generous. Whereas in reality, you are being mean to yourself. So when someone who is "being mean" attempts to be generous, all the associated actions will be counter-intuitive and counterproductive. Therefore, a mean person tries to behave generously with calculations, expectations, conditions and reservations.
Generosity is all about giving and if one is not Generous with oneself then there is an endless struggle to be generous.
Calculations: I will do it till it costs me this much. Post that I will stop being generous. In reality, the person would not have started in the first place.
Expectations: If I generously do this for 3 months, I should get this feedback, this appreciation, these many acknowledgements and that many returns…
Conditions: I will be generous; provided you do this, you give this in return, you act this way and don't do that.
Reservations: I will be generous to the people from my country, my region, who are like-minded, who follow my religion, whom I know well etc. etc. etc.
All these attributes are far away from being generous and overshadowed by meanness. If one wants to explore generosity, one has to start being one with self. Take time for yourself. Listen to what you want. Do what you like to do. Attention is the purest form of generosity. Start paying attention to yourself.
Attention is the purest form of generosity. Start paying attention to yourself.
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