Netflix documentary "The Social Dilemma" has made people talk a lot about the ill-effects of these platforms, of course on 'social media'! Let's keep that aside and look at our emotional dilemma. Many of our emotions and the associated behaviours are stereotyped even before we emote them. For example, quiet in sadness, shouting in anger, jumping in happiness etc. In reality, we don't adhere to these expressions of emotions. there are different manifestations.
Let's take anger. It is proved by research* that feelings of anger can cause an increase in status-seeking and agonistic behaviours, leading to possible action tendencies for the establishment of dominance hierarchies. How does this show up in real life? One of its manifestations is 'Silence". A powerful way of dominating others is by being silent. I see this behaviour in different contexts. It can be between friends, colleagues, couples, partners and family. Taking a 'moun vrat' i.e. a promise not to talk is the highest form of dominance. By doing so, the person is showing his importance to the group or family, it's my way or the highway attitude. There is little scope for collaboration or negotiation because all the benefits of communication are thrown out of the window by being in silence.
Why should I care? Now if one person is silent, how does it bother the other person? It does. That's how our emotional regulator works. When we sit to talk or work with someone if that person is sad, we try to cheer them up. It is not only for them but also for ourselves. We don't want our emotional levels to drop to that sadness. So we keep pushing the bar. Similarly, when someone is silent with you, their anger starts bothering you, thus pushing you to deal with their silence in whatever way you can. Suddenly, making that person break the silence and speak-up, becomes a top priority.
How this shows up in the social media world. Mostly in the same way. People on WhatsApp groups keep doing this regularly. They won't comment for days. They will not respond to your comments. They will not share anything on purpose. If that doesn't work, they may block you or they will leave the group. That normally is the sufficient level of dominance to make the other members to get bothered. Then all other members will speak to that person and convince to rejoin by some ego licking. The group is now active, until its someone else's turn to take up 'moun vrat'.
*Evolution and Human Behavior ( vol. 40, issue 1, page 23-33)
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