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Writer's pictureThirteen

I want to Lose

Why would anyone say so? Why do some people like to stay victims and play victims? It's like Stockholm syndrome. Where the victim actually starts loving the oppressor. Here there are no demands, no standards, no expectations and no ambitions. One starts enjoying losing.

Not all those who settle with Lose -Win are victims. Some are behind popularity and want everyone to like and accept them. They lose to gain that acceptance. They lose to look good in front of others. Some times the loss is to show the world that they are always right or always good.

The problem with Lose-win is that they bury a lot of feelings.

The problem with Lose-win is that they bury a lot of feelings. As mentioned by Stephen Covey, "The unexpressed feelings never die: they're buried alive and come forth later in uglier ways. Psychosomatic illnesses, particularly of the respiratory, nervous, and circulatory systems often are the reincarnation of cumulative resentment, deep disappointment and disillusionment repressed by the Lose/Win mentality. Disproportionate rage or anger, overreaction to minor provocation, and cynicism are other embodiments of suppressed emotion."


Many people keep swinging between win-lose and lose-win based on position and situation. Neither of these models is sustainable. Of course, Win-lose looks attractive to start with but is a non-sustainable approach in the long run.

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